She is tall, graceful in her movements, not gangly at all. She flows more than moves. A master class in serenity, as if time is of no consequence. Her beauty is outré, otherworldly. She is fascinating to observe, holds my attention as if viewing some rare crimson Betta Fish in its tank.My fingers agitated, stroking the throw beneath us. I look down and watch my fingers run over its needlework, appraise the quality of the stitching — quickly withdrawing my hand when I see the horror of the scene depicted, a web of medieval folk art woodcuts of impalings and flowing blood.I try to distract my racing mind, taking in the art that crowds the walls, the unframed pen and inks that lie scattered on the other sofa, the other works that lie unsorted on the table. I stand up and wander around the room as Pandora tells Chloe about her day. I examine oils and acrylics while Chloe explains to Pandora that I need to borrow a dress.Landscapes abound, but the portraits gathered together at the far. ‘I didn’t notice the first time but now, I feel altered. The rest of my memories don’t mesh with the present.’ ‘I had to do it,’ he said. Then, by some combination of adrenaline, confrontation, guilt and fatigue, he found the strength to say the speech he had prepared in his moments of wakefulness. ‘I was always alone and couldn’t do anything about it. Trying not to be alone always punished me with anxiety and punished someone else with boredom. I ended up trying to freeze my heart, to make myself not need others. It almost worked until I met you. I barely knew you, but the very fact that you existed thawed all my efforts. Loneliness started hurting me again and I couldn’t do anything about it except for this. You need to understand, I tried and ran away at every opportunity. Valentines, Christmas, your birthday. I had to do this or I would have ended it another way. I would have…’ He couldn’t complete the sentence so his hands made a gesture instead. ‘It’s okay,’ she said. ‘I’m not.
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