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We could have just loved each other.But I wasn't enough for her.My heart throbbed. I pushed it down. I didn't know if Sky would ever be enough for me. Not now that I had enjoyed nubile girls.And mature MILFs.I wanted to make love to Helena. I wanted to enjoy her body. My lusts throbbed for her. She had already been ruined, her marriage probably destroyed. It would be a scandal, rock the church. I didn't know how it would end.It was too late now. No turning back the clock. So I might as well enjoy myself.Those are the thoughts that lead to these situations, Grace said. I forget how flawed humans are. Even the good ones.I swallowed. I used to be such a pure woman. I had only had sex with my husband, and rarely. He wanted it all the time, but I thought sex was for procreation. After I conceived with Sky, I cut him off. He quickly found a woman who would satisfy him.I pretended it wasn't my fault, but it was. Partly. He begged me for it. He broke. Everyone did eventually.Helena reached. ‘What did Mary say?’ I whispered. ‘That was the strange thing,’ Jerry said ‘she wanted me to tell you ‘she knew you had it in you’? And then she used very long words to explain how important it was that we treated you right. I’m still not sure if she threatened us with something, but in the end she just laughed. And then we hung up.’ Mary’s reaction didn’t surprise me as previous discussions had showed me and my friends that she was extremely open-minded. But the ‘you had it in you’-comment still made my thoughts spin. Was I really the kind of woman that could consciously decide to engage in a relationship with two men? The memories of what we had done along with the pleasant, humming ache I felt in my body proved that I obviously was the kind of woman that would go to bed with two men, be it a conscious decision or not. I tried to think what other people would say, finding no answers in my own mind, otherwise so helpful in finding solutions based on logical patterns. I hadn’t.
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