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I'll tell you all about it tomorrow."I figured Andy would have to wait a half hour so what was a few more minutes but I didn't ask any more questions. I had my own preparations to do.As predicted, Sara didn't leave with Andy until a half hour after he arrived at our house. I invisibly sat in the backseat of Andy's car while Sara talked incessantly about the party while her boyfriend politely pretended to be interested. I could tell he faked it though Sara seemed oblivious. I gained respect for Andy. I would have told her to shut up.The party included most of the popular boys and girls from every grade at Harrison High plus many people that Cassidy knew from other avenues. I guess it shouldn't be surprising considering her looks, popularity, and the family status. College boys and girls populated the party too.I never talked to Cassidy but I was under the impression she wasn't full of herself like some girls with lesser status acted. Listening in on her conversations at the party. The bullying started when I was about eight. The name calling, the thumps and blows. I endured a few years of that, simply not understanding why it was happening. Despite this, I went on playing with the girls. Hopskotch, wall flowers (a singing game with very girly dance movements). But the bullying increased in intensity and I saw the only way out as trying to conform to male gender conditioning. At grammar school, with no girls to play with, I decided to butch up. The bullying stopped. I played rugby and hated it but saw it as a way of conforming. At 12 I began to masturbate but always to the idea of dominant males. I began to believe that the only way they would even consider me as a sexual partner would be if I appeared to be female. So I started to wear my mother's clothes and soon began to love girdles and suspender belts and stockings. Best of all was her wedding dress...I saw myself as a bride to a commanding uniformed guy and this remained my ideal for years. I was quite.
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