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The only person who’s seen this side of me is my mother. Vulnerability. Fear. Emotions I loath the most because they all stem from my family bullshit—my father’s bullshit. My mother raised me fearless, my father raised me fearful of everything, most of all him. ‘You asked who I was talking to at the restaurant in Rome. Who made me . . . act the way I did. It was my father.’ Leo doesn’t look at me, and I wonder if that’s more for my sake than his. If I focus on the mirror I can see my face, but I don’t look. He doesn’t press me further, and his quiet is what allows me to speak. I don’t count words with Leo. ‘He’s an abusive asshole who thinks women are gifts from God to serve men. I think my mother put up with it for as long as she did because she thought he really loved her. I think he must have, in his own way. But she left him, and all that bitterness and warped sense of a woman’s place in the world transfered to me. I was—am never good enough for him. And he was just reminding. I sat down on the small bench in the park next to Kelly. I smiled at her and said, "What's up? "Am I behind on my payments? Ramona's not sick again is she?" I asked."Yeah, she's sick again, but it's not cancer," said KellyOver the next few minutes, Kelly told me about the places she'd seen my wife lately. She told me about the things she'd seen her do. She even told me about some of the guys she'd seen her with."I don't have photos or anything, but it's pretty clear she's cheating on you," she said."Kelly, you're a great nurse, and up until now I thought you were a great person too. Ramona would never do that, she loves me," I said, though I didn't believe the words as I said them."I'm sorry, to be the one to tell you, but you need to be careful," said Kelly. "I just hate the thought of her doing this to you." I don't believe she is doing anything," I snapped. "And all you have is some vague suspicion. No evidence. No proof. Maybe you should just mind your own business!"I got up and.
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