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It's also not the first time my friends have played a joke on me, so I will play along with the joke—maybe making life a bit uncomfortable for him too. I glance over to where my friends are peering out of the pub door; they are trying to indicate that they wonder what’s going on.“OK, you know my name, though I don’t know which of my friends told you it. Do you have a name or at least one you’ve made up for this?” I ask.A hurt and somewhat confused look clouds his handsome face. He stutters out, “J... J... erm... Jon...athon... Jon.”Oh well, I think to myself, I know this is a set up but Jon is acting his part well so I will play along. I agree to meet him for a date, we have a drink while we arrange the details and then I return to my friends. My friends all talk at once, pretending to be surprised and wanting to know who he is. I play dumb, saying that he was asking about a lady that my mum once knew. I study each face to see if it reveals something that would confirm my suspicion. Basically, take a drow elf dude. Sexy, right? All black skinned and leanly muscled, with those cute as heck elf ears? But, like, evil looking, so that made them even sexier due to the law of exponential mortality-sexual dynamic inversion? Now, take the lower half of that drow elf dude and replace it with a big ass honking huge spider butt. And legs. Lots of them. This guy looked like he was mostly black widow down there, and he was dressed in the sleek black combat armor of most drow. He held a curved cutlass in one hand and a shock-pistol in his other hands. His head was contained in a sleek combat helmet, which quickly swept the room.“Hi!” I said, leaning down infront of him – having leaped onto the torpedo between the door starting to open and now. “Joker style!” I shouted, then sprayed spritzer right in his face. It, unlike the Joker’s flower, was not acid. Which was good, have you ever used acid against someone in combat? Don’t! It’s fucking monstrous. The spritzer’s frizzy.
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