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Recent traveler's tales had been full of accounts of Boar-Men raiding across the Emerald River and the night-goers had been reported in many parts of the eastern part of Duchy, driving many like the luckless bandit Loren out of their lands and homes. Even the northeastern-most station of the river watch was now reporting odd sightings along both banks of the river, and their old friend Bryce had many barracks stories to tell about the slow smoldering forest war of attrition that was now occurring in the great northern woods.The lads had to reluctantly report that still the Duke had not yet made up his mind about ordering conscription, but that they felt it would soon become a necessary, and perhaps even absolutely essential. Rowan's old master Gorge nodded his head, and said that already he had received a large order from the castle for weapons, and muttered that it was too bad that his best smith at forging swords had but recently left. The laughter in the tap-room helped clear some. I pushed the mower around the wire and reached down to grab it, to throw it out of the way.It seems as though I hadn’t remembered to unplug it after all.Now I’m standing there, I’ve got the running lawnmower in my right hand and the 1.7 giga-volt fence wire in the other hand. Keep in mind the charger is about the size of a marine battery and has a picture of an upside down cow on fire on the cover.Time stood still.The first thing I notice is my pecker trying to climb up the front side of my body. My ears curled downwards and I could feel the lawnmower ignition firing in the backside of my brain. Every time that Briggs & Stratton rolled over, I could feel the spark in my head. I was literally at one with the engine.It seems as though the fence charger and the piece of shit lawnmower were fighting over who would control my electrical impulses.Science says you cannot crap, pee, and vomit at the same time. I beg to differ. Not only did I do all three at once, but my bowels emptied 3.
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