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‭ ‬It wasn’t often, but now and then, a real conversation broke out.‭ ‬On those occasions someone usually asked if I missed not having kids.‭ ‬I never could find a satisfactory answer to that. I always considered sex chats interactive pornography and did what most people do to porn.‭ ‬Yes, I masturbated while chatting.‭ ‬I would try to do all the things I claimed that I was doing.‭ ‬There just didn’t seem like much sense in not playing along since no one could see me. On line masturbation was mostly about illusion and mental imagery.‭ ‬It was much easier to have a man shove his nonexistent ten inch penis up my butt there, than to have a man in real life shove his real ten inch penis up my butt.‭ ‬It also hurt a lot less on line. I have to admit a finger to simulate a man or even woman’s tongue on my vulva or clit, just wasn’t the same, but it still wasn’t bad.‭ ‬Especially if the mental image was strong enough.‭ ‬It was also exciting to relive some of the things I had done, through. "I'll bring you some condoms for your next shower!"Zing!"I'll be damned! Well, she got me there," I thought."Touché," I finally told her. "And thank you for the reminder about the condoms." You're welcome," she said, still grinning. "Now, tell me how my adventures with my fiancée and your plans for Nancy Lee are related." Catherine, I was just reminding you that WE were young once..."I watched her raise her eyebrows at the word 'we', but went on." ... and that we were created to respond to certain stimuli. What you did and what Nancy Lee wants to do, is biologically normal. It's intended by our creator. What's irrational is what our minds tell us about it. And our minds tell us whatever we were programmed with, usually by our parents and society. Hence, the problem." Go on," she told me as if giving me enough rope to hang myself."Somewhere along the way, probably intended as protection, we were told that what is normal is wrong. Never mind how it was rationalized, we were told it was.
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