Cutest Sucker Ever

She laughed and told me that soon, minorities of every stripe would outnumber whites, and gain unprecedented political and socio-economic power as they basically replaced WASPs like myself as the dominant class. That really pissed me off, so I told her that as soon as I got out, I’d find myself a white guy and make me some brats just to delay the whole minority-as-majority phenomenon. A cold light crept into Chandra Joseph Brown’s face, and she told me that I’d lost that option ages ago. I stared at her, shocked beyond belief. With a cool smile, she told me that I should have watched what I ate. When I asked her what she meant by that, she told me I wouldn’t be able to bring more alabaster-skinned oppressors into the world, and she saw this as a good thing. Cold sweat crept up my spine as I realized the implications of what she was saying. Had that bitch taken away my….no, no way. This couldn’t be true. A visit to the neighborhood health center proved my worst fears true. A quiet. It was his final temper tantrum before retirement. Yes, that’s right. Time for a little red pill, courtesy of me, not Morpheus. The reality is that the old God abdicated and Heaven is under brand new management. And I am the chief Prophet of the new Supreme Being.“I am the Lawgiver. Let’s be frank here. You’ve lost the war. That’s why you’re here. You can’t win by conventional, or even unconventional, means. We have you surrounded, outgunned, outnumbered, and constantly pinned down by air power and artillery bombardment. And I’m going to make it worse for you, very soon indeed.“So, yes, you’re here to surrender. You just don’t know it yet. But look around you. I’ve already won. I just want the fruits and spoils of my victory and I want them now. I am the Lawgiver, the Prophet, and unlike Jesus of Nazareth, I am the Messiah. Surrender to me now and save everyone the bloodshed.“In return, I’m willing to listen to requests for certain concessions. But you must bend the knee, my friends..
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