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I felt myselfa horrible person for even entertaining such thoughts. He looked up at mecalmly before replying. Still, I realized my concerns were really one andthe same. Sam and the twins were inexorably linked."Relax Joan, the babies are fine." He knew! He somehow knew that I wasmore concerned about the twins than I was about Sam himself. I felt soguilty; dirty, inferior, not worthy of his love at all. I was completelyand utterly ashamed. I began wailing uncontrollably. This wasn'tsupposed to be happening. I found it more difficult to breathe with eachinhaled breath. The last thing I remembered was the look of concern onSam's face as everything went blank in front of me.From a distance a voice called to me. "Joan, wake up!" I felt my headbeing gently shaken from side to side as the words were repeated. Ididn't want to wake up. I wanted to remain in hiding. Hoping it wouldall just go away. More than anything I hated that I had absolutely nocontrol of everything going on around. The girls only agreed to come along and work on the stand if I made sure they got some dancing every night; they’ve been to exhibitions in the past where they’ve had six straight nights of sitting in their rooms doing paperwork or watching TV, and they insisted that they weren’t going to do that again. You have to travel much in your line of work?”“No, this is the first week-long trip since I got married. That reminds me; I better call Mattie and tell her I’m here and settled in at the hotel okay.”I smiled at him.“How long have you been married?”“Just over six months.”“Word of advice from an older friend, Leeson. I know, and the girls know, that you’re just being kind and neighborly dancing with them to help keep the wolves away. Your wife might not see it quite like that. Just tell her that you’re having a couple of beers with a salesman you met, and then you’re going to turn in.”He nodded.“She did seem anxious about me being away on my own staying in a hotel for a week.”“She’s.
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