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To this day, a quick glance at the map will tell you that I should be typing this thirty feet under the murky waters of Lake Kantwate. But the folks of Lake Wannacum aren't the type to be troubled by questions of actual existence; rather, they're more concerned with the crop that's lying in O'Hannigan's field, waiting on the replacement part for his combine harvester, or the price of gasoline over at the Lucky Prospector gas station. Perhaps it isn't surprising then, that our revered ancestors were happy to be forgotten by the rest of the country, and go on with their peaceful small-town lives, until, in 1898, a visionary called Doctor Samuel T Gardener arrived in town. Exiled from his life of comfortable academia back in Massachusetts due to his unorthodox views on sex and sexuality, he fled across the country until he arrived, penniless and exhausted, in Lake Wannacum. Pleading poverty, he was allowed the use of two small rooms in the attic space of the school house, in exchange. And what she was doing was, if hard evidence could be believed, was fucking me blind four and five and six nights per week, and that's all. I had to call for a break when it came time for exams, 'cause I didn't want to go into them exhausted.Spring became summer and one year flowed seamlessly into the next. Steph graduated, and I had only one year to go. I'd already been targeted by a Silicone Valley chip developer: Ajax. Their business model was to design a new -whatever- chip then sell the rights to one of the big boys and live off the royalties. They offered me a hunk of stock options.I surprised Steph one Sunday by taking her to a very fancy restaurant, dropping to one knee and thrusting a paper at her. It said: 'I hope you can find the ring. It is within ten feet. Please marry me.'She tore the table apart. I stayed on one knee and the others in the restaurant must have wondered what was going on. The restaurant staff were in on it, of course. Salt and pepper cellars were emptied..
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