• I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.• I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.• Velcro - what a rip off!• Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last.HOW MOSES GOT THE 10 COMMANDMENTSGod went to the Arabs and said, ‘I have Commandments for you that will make your lives better.’The Arabs asked, ‘What are Commandments?’The Lord said, ‘They are rules for living.’‘Can you give us an example?’‘Thou shall not kill.’‘Not kill? We’re not interested... ‘So He went to the Blacks,The Blacks wanted an example, and the Lord said, ‘Honour thy Father and Mother.’‘Father? We don’t know who our fathers are. We’re not interested.’He went to the Mexicans, The Mexicans wanted an example - the Lord said ‘Thou shall not steal.’ ‘Not steal? We’re not interested.’He went to the French, They wanted an example and the Lord said, ‘Thou shall not commit adultery.’‘Sacre bleu!!! Not commit adultery? We’re not interested.’Finally, He went to the Jews and said, ‘I have Commandments.... I’d imagine that’s one of the more fun parts of getting to be Helen.“OK!” Rita said, getting up and hugging me. “We are pre-recording some things for this week’s show. I can be there at three.”I hugged her back and left to let her continue whatever she had to get ready for next. I checked my phone. 11:56, six hours to go, and I hadn’t even needed to Do The Thing to persuade Rita. Someone who hadn’t lived my life might think everything was going to be this easy.Heh. Sucker!Since it was now between twelve and two in the afternoon, Nothing, as they say, was happening in San Finzione. The country still honors the old European tradition of “Go meet up with whoever you fuck, get laid, grab something quick, and come back to finish the day.” It’s sometimes nice to take a stroll and hear all the people who’ve left their windows open, because it’s also really hot at that time of day, and know that hopefully most of the adult population, at that moment, is getting some. Since I knew that was.
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