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You will NEVER hear me whine when someone says "I don't believe you" because I don't tell tales to be believed, I tell truths, and it's of little consequence to ME if you choose to believe them or not. No lie can change it, it's immune to cynicism, and it certainly doesn't give much of a shit what anyone thinks of it.It is what it is.With that being said, let me begin the first truth:I am David.(the truth begins like all truths,...simple enough)Born in 1969, in the Denver General Hospital to Gary, and Mary at Nine Thirty three PM on November 23rd.When mom's water broke, and the contractions had begun Dad was already tipsy.Mom says dad had to stop on the way for cigs, and got so caught up in telling the cashier about my arrival that it took twenty minutes to get a damned smoke. In her impatience to get to the hospital, and Dad's inability to shut the fuck up in a crisis she got out to fetch the man.My head slid right out between her legs at the register.Fluids pooled, dad panicked,. Butone scrawny guy can not fight off five athletic women and before I coulddo much about it I found myself being shoved out into the hallway.In a panic I tried to run back through that door, but no matter how hardI pushed on it the five girls on the other side had no trouble holdingit closed. Only after a few attempts to get back into the locker roomdid I became aware of the laughter coming from behind me.Terrified i turned around finding the hallway crowded with otherstudents, but very few of them were moving, they had all stopped towatch the show as I had pounded on the girls locker room door. when thefirst flash hit me I noticed most of them had their cell phones out.Flashes bombarded me as dozens of my fellow students captured images ofme dressed like a cheerleader.I turned to run but those damn heels were not as easy to turn in as theylooked. I hit the ground on my belly and could feel the breeze on mybutt. That tiny little skirt had barely covered my panties when I hadbeen.
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