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He said he would’ve said Saturday but as he was incredibly busy with football and going to the pub with his brother he couldn’t really do Saturday. I told him about my collection of sex toys and he told me was intrigued by the jiggle balls so I had promised I would bring them down and show him before slipping them in, in the public toilets. I won’t lie as I sat there waiting for him to tell me he had arrived I had a million and one doubts in my head. He won’t show up, every other “date” or meet up whatever this was had ended the same, me walking away after being stood up. What if he DID show up though and was like 50 and a total pervert?! I must be mad but he won’t show so it doesn’t matter. I text my mates Darren, Ellie and Lou for comfort, I had messaged two other friends but they were busy but we had had a good chat the night before about it at our girls bowling night. Ellie told me to relax, Darren spent his time trying to keep me positive (not an easy job by anyone’s standards). No one comes. I fall sickeningly into a black hole. There are voices. ‘Serious internal injuries’… ‘Police’… ‘Immediate surgery.’ The ceiling is moving. I am being wheeled somewhere. ‘Count backwards from ten… ‘ ‘Catriona… Catriona, wake up, you are dreaming a bad dream.’ I awake. Dionysus is smiling at me. ‘You were dreaming in a dream,’ he says ambiguously. I do not understand him, and lie looking at him. Within myself I am saying, ‘I love you, I love you.’ There is burning desire such as I have not felt since long ago when someone loved and desired me. He was coming to me. A plane crashed and he was no more and my life meaning ceased. I am looking deep into Dionysus’ eyes… deep pools of liquid green. He is looking into my eyes and wordlessly he is asking, ‘Do you wish us to make love?’ ‘Yes,’ my mind replies. We are unmoving and tranquil. Our eyes continue to hold each other in their gaze. I am immersed in warmth. An exquisite stab of ecstasy spears through me, filling me with a.
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