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* Chapter One: Mr. Happy ‘What the fuck do you think you’re doing?’ I yelled at the meter girl. ‘What does it look like? I’m writing you a ticket for overtime parking.’ she replied calmly without looking up from her pad. ‘Jesus H. Fucking Christ … what do you do … just wait around out here until the fuckin’ meter runs out so you can write me a ticket?’ I blasted again. ‘Nope, but if I had the time … I’d give it some serious thought.’ she snapped back. ‘Fuck me. You must be a real fuckin’ prize in your household. I snarled. ‘Look, Mr. Matheson,’ she said looking up at me. ‘I’m tired of your foul mouth and abusive behavior. I’ve been real tolerant up ’till now, but I’ve had enough. I’m reporting you to the Police for Harassment. ‘You fat pig!’ I yelled. ‘Go ahead. You’ll find them down at the donut shop stuffin’ Long Johns in their mouth and listening to their fuckin’ arteries harden.’ With that snappy send off, I yanked the door of my Range Rover open and slammed it shut after me. I. I'll even send a few of my guys round to help you," he smugly shouted back at me.I slammed the window down in anger causing the panes to rattle as they strained to remain intact. My friends were giggling behind me whether from fear or just female bravado I don't know."Well," I said "do we stay and fight the bastard or do we leave with our tails between our legs."A long silence ensued as in turn we all looked at each other, finally Sandy spoke up, "I say we fight the bugger, let him just try."It was agreed that we stand our ground until he paid up.I had to do some shopping and, knowing that I could get to the supermarket and back before the deadline, I was quite confident that it would be safe to leave for awhile.I arrived back at the house just after 4pm. Standing on the pavement outside were three scruffy men. They seemed to recognize me, I don't know how. As I approached the entrance to the house the biggest of the three stepped in front of me."You must be Sue," he said."I might.
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