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It first announced itself with the scent of citrus in our bedroom. I walked it to find her lying nude on the bed and reading Nin’s Little Birds. The room smelled different. “New perfume?” I asked.“No, it’s a room fragrance, saffron tangerine,” she said. “It’s supposed to be the smell of Africa.” Her comment was so matter-of-fact, but the aroma didn’t do that much for me. We had been in western Kenya and among the beautiful peoples of the Kikuyu, Luo, and Kalenjin, but this smell did not smells take me there. This had to be something else.“Does it work for you?” I asked.“Not even close,” she said. When she was in the shower, I picked up the book. Turning to the table of contents, my eyes fell on a story entitled “Saffron.” I could still hear the water running as I read the story of a sixteen-year-old girl named Fay who was both beautiful and innocent. She easily fell under the spell of the much older Albert, a man in his forties who had sophisticated ways, a good family name, and a. I’d been feeding the dark wolf for most of my life, and because of that, I’d ended up with all those ugly feelings: loneliness, sadness, anger, resentment. I’d carried those feelings that had weighed so heavily on me that for every step I took, I sunk deeper into the ocean, deeper into the water. For the longest time, the light wolf inside of me had been ignored, starved, forgotten—just like me.When I began to feed it instead, that’s when things changed. The good feelings began to surface: happiness, tranquility, positivity, love. It was Wes, actually, that had taught me how to feed the light wolf. He was gentle yet pushy, barging into my life in a whirlwind of sex and avocados and long days at the beach. He was the ice cream on a hot summer day, the most wonderful, delicious piece of chocolate you could imagine. He taught me that to feed the light wolf, you had to embody it. You had to become kindness, you had to become happiness. And once you did, it became a part of you.It was a.
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