You Can Bugger My Girlfriend But I Love Her

After so many months wiping myself clean with a washcloth and special soapdesigned to be left on the body, I had dreamt of a nice long hot shower.My months of waiting finally came to an end, leaving me ratherdisappointed. The hot steamy shower I looked forward to felt lukewarmagainst my skin and my nerves were unable to relay the same messages to mybrain in relation to the present water temperature. My shower routine wasroutine for my old self. I spent my first 30 seconds letting the waterhit my back while attempting to shave my silky smooth face beforerealizing that my brain was acting on impulse unaware of the lack of hairon my face. Next I rinsed the dirt and grime from my golden locks ofhair, taking as much as five minutes to thoroughly shampoo, then rinse,washing every last bit of white foam down the drain. Still frightenedthat somehow Kaaren was watching me from 30 light years away, I chose toforgo any further exploration and lightly washed the rest of my body.Once dried. "Holy Shit! This whole family is blond!" I thought.Since I knew Nicky and Jennifer, and the other three were very similar in appearance, allowing for the slight age difference, I assumed the others were my cousins. The two youngest ones were fourteen year old twin daughters of Sarah's twin sister, Debbie. And the third was Jennifer and Julie's older sister."I wonder what color my hair is?" It's dark blond. Kinda sandy really. You used to be blonder when you were little," Julie said."Say WHAT!" I was so surprised she had heard my thoughts, it took a minute for her words to register. But before I could say a word, there was a scream"JU-LEE-E-E ... No-o-o-o! Don't you dare! How COULD you?"Everyone froze as Jennifer, standing in the doorway, began to cry.Forgetting that she had just overheard my thoughts, I slid Julie off me, swung my legs to the floor, and taking two steps, hugged Jenny to me."Jenny," I said softly. "Listen to me sweetheart." But she wouldn't stop crying.I turned and.
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