Listen. I know a story that tops it all.New York has this peculiar institution known as the Sanitation Court. That's where you report if you get a summons for littering or maybe if you're a contractor who's tried to sneak a couple of bags of renovation debris into the regular municipal trash pickup. And it's where young judges start their career, and where old judges end up when they're thrown on the trash heap. A sad place, and one best avoided, no doubt. Well, one day it was my turn to find out what goes on behind the scenes of this odd corner of the judicial edifice.What's this? A ticket for putting improper items out to be collected? Oh, I get it, this is about those bags of wood scraps and plaster from renovating my apartment. Wait a minute! I had called Bulk Pickup to take care of that. Twice, damn it. Once to set up a special pickup and once more to confirm the appointment. It looks like the pickup wasn't made, in spite of all that. And now the friggin' sanitation cops are. "Sorryhoney this is going to hurt a bit, but we don't have time to be gentle."The plucking began. I wondered why it was necessary, but I never evengave a thought to how I would explain my looks tomorrow. If he said itwas needed it was needed.To tell the truth after a few tugs it really didn't hurt that much. Itbrought back memories of mom spanking or slapping and how it didn'treally hurt after the first ten or twelve blows. He finished quickly andthen trimmed what was left and ran a color brush over what was left. Icouldn't imagine much had been done in that short a time. He bent downkissed my forehead and whispered, "What a brave boy. I have never had abetter client." He then asked me to stand and strip to my underwear. Asmy cheeks flushed, I followed instructions. I guess I was a naturalsubmissive. As I stood in front of him he smeared a cream onto my legsand most other exposed areas of hair. He had me sit back down andbrought over a hot damp towel that he wrapped on my face.Head.
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