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It's revolting" When you found yourself a girlfriend you would get over it. You are being just over protective and jealous" What you mean, jealous" I asked furiously."I mean that I'm not yours and your pissed because everybody can try to fuck me except you."The way she talk "trying to fuck me". She was my mother. I felt humiliated. I,then, exploded "That's gross. Your'e crazy. You dress like a horny slut, mom, and you know it" I'M AVAILABLE" she shouted. "And don't you mind. I'm not arrange any father figure for you, but i will have my encounters with or without your approval"A few weeks passed, and then the final revelation. One day as I was arriving home she was in the sofa crying. As i asked the reason she revealed something that would change my life for ever:So, apparently my mom had be seeing this guy for some weeks, and his roommate had take access to his computer and copied some nasty videos of my mom in the act. He send an email to her informing that. She was now blackmailing. Your fantasy is to be the person who makes other people's fantasies come true. You are the slave; they are the master.Naturally you resist the idea at first. Everybody wants to think they are the strong one, or at least, every man wants to be a 'real' man. But over time you allow the slut to come out in your dreams and fantasies.But only in your dreams and fantasies. In real life you fake it. You try to live up to the standards that your parents expect of you. You hide behind what they want you to be: the real you can only come out behind closed doors. And closed eyes. In the dark, you thrive. In the light of day, you fade away, and your 'normal' self replaces the real you.Johnny shook his head as if he could dislodge this train of thought by doing so. It didn't really matter whether he understood how he had become the way he was. He was what he was, and nothing could change that. He had come to realize that he could find sex with men much easier then he could with women. Men were.
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