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I just don't like the idea of buying a two hundred, three hundred dollar dress that I'll only wear once. Seems pointless - especially since I've got three or four in my closet that I've already only worn once." But people have seen you in those already! That's not professional! I don't think you understand the way things go at my company." I don't want to know, Mike," she'd said. "I've been trying to keep my eyes closed to whatever it is you do there, because it doesn't feel kosher."He didn't want to get into this argument now. "Look," he said, "I don't want to argue. I just need you to go buy a dress, okay? Some shoes? God, why can't you be like a normal woman - most women would be glad for their husbands to throw money at them, tell them to go clothes shopping. Jonathan Naomi's wife lives for that shit!" Mike," she said, her eyes all but turning red, "Marisa Naomi is a rare fuckup case! She's living in the fifties, with her Valium and her poodle, her 2.5 children! You're stuck in. He’s the textbook example of a conniver, but in a very likeable sort of way. He’d be great at sales, but he’s working at his third choice of college majors without much success, or even effort. Linda is Andy’s current girlfriend. She’s beautiful, intelligent, clever, rich, and, inexplicably, she loves Andy. He has had the good sense to propose to her and, in a moment of colossal insanity on her part, she accepted. Linda is the second woman I’ve known Andy to propose to, and Linda is the second woman to accept. I like them both and wish them well, but I wouldn’t bet any money on the success of their relationship.So the five of us are watching TV when the doorbell rings. As is typical, Andy jumps up to answer it. After a moment or two, he calls my name, and I get up to see Eileen at the door! I thank Andy, and he retires to the living room. I ask Eileen what she’s doing here, and she says that it is part of her plan to get fucked by me. I laugh, then I go outside, pick her up and carry.
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