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All over tan from a tanning in her own backyard so she could avoid being seen in anything too revealing in public before today, Check, unfortunately. Long brown hair that shimmered in the sun from being taken care of religiously, Check. Sky blue eyes without the help of contacts, Oh yeah. She had to admit to herself, finally, she really was hot.By the time she was ready to wash off all traces of her work for the day she decided on a bath instead. She started the water, lit several candles, closed the blinds, turned on some soft instrumental big band music which helps her relax and slowly lowered herself into the tub. It was large enough for three normal people and she loved it. Especially when she turned on the spa jets.The tub was a gift to her late husband not long before he had died in a horrific plane crash with his parents. He was a rather large man and often complained that he couldn’t take a bath anymore because the regular tubs were just too small for him to stretch out. Take the other parachute and save yourself.”The Boy Scout just smiles. “Don’t worry, Your Holiness. The world’s smartest man just jumped out of the plane wearing my backpack!”The following items are compliments of J & B.After the brief Falkland Islands war, a British regiment commander was addressing some troops under his command who had heroically performed above and beyond the call of duty. He informed them that Her Majesty’s Army had committed to reward each of the three soldiers 100 pounds per inch of distance between two different parts of the man’s body.The commander addressed the first soldier, “Where would you like to be measured, Sergeant?”“From the tip of me head to the soles of me feet, Sir!”, he replied.“Very good!”, the commander said, and the sergeant was measured at 6’5”. He was paid the handsome sum of 7000 pounds.The second soldier was asked, “What about you, Corporal?”“Between the tips of the fingers of me outstretched arms, Sir!”, the corporal said.“Very good!”,.
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