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5. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad’sunderwear when he’s on the toilet.6. Sticking my nose into someone’scrotch is an unacceptable way of saying ‘hello’.7. I don’t need to suddenly standstraight up when I’m under the coffee table.8. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur beforeentering the house - not after.9. I will not come in from outside,and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.10. I will not sit in the middle of the livingroom, and lick my crotch11. The cat is not a ‘squeaky toy’,so when I play with him and he makes that noise,it’s usually not a good thing.P.S. Dear God:When I get to Heaven,may I have my testicles back?Some Random Thoughts... Someone Just Honked to get me out of my parking spot faster so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead.So I was at the bar last night and the Waitress Screamed... “Anyone know CPR?”I said, “Hell I know the entire alphabet.”Everyone laughed... Well everyone except this one guy!Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up. In the months she’d been seeing Dennis, she’d come to find he was a bright, knowledgeable young man, whose interests were, in a lot of cases, similar to hers. Even in areas where she and he had differing ideas, she found his positions well-considered. It fascinated her that she seemed to have so much more in common with this teenager than she’d ever had with her husband. Dennis leaned his head on his folded hands and gazed across the table at Lois. ‘I have something to tell you,’ he said softly. ‘I…I’ve been meaning to all weekend, but, well, we’ve been kind of busy, you know?’ Lois smiled. ‘We have been somewhat preoccupied, haven’t we?’ she observed. ‘What is it you want to tell me? I’m all ears.’ ‘Remember how I said I wanted to be an electrical engineer?’ he said. ‘Yes,’ Lois said. ‘Well, I’ve been accepted by the college I applied to,’ he said. ‘You have? That’s wonderful,’ Lois replied. ‘State accepted you, then. I had no doubt they would. They’d have been foolish not to accept.
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