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So I figured I could get a job on the new "Ellen"show.Jerry: But you forgot one thing. Ellen is a show about lesbians and you area mailman, a male man. That's two strikes against you.Newman: You are right I didn't think about that. Jerry: Well I believe you can fix this old man. I could say you owe me one.Old Man: My pleasure Jerry. The old man waves his arms and suddenly Newman is changed into TeriHatcher in a low cut dress.Newman: Why, what did you do that for? Jerry: Well now you could be my girlfriend, at least on the first episode.I have never had a relationship last longer than that. And this time I canbe in the sauna and find out if they are real.Newman: Come on old man, this isn't what I wanted to happen. I have agirlfriend on 3rd Rock for Christsakes.Jerry: As I understand it, the two of you will now have more in common. Maybe you two could be the lesbian couple next store and drop by sometimesto borrow a cup of sugar and a strap on. Newman(or perhaps Newoman): Old man. 'I hope you're going to repay the compliment when we get home.' 'Start the New Year with a bang, you mean? Absolutely.' Safely inside our house, with the door firmly locked, I pulled her into my arms and kissed her – at which point the penny dropped. I didn't say anything though, instead I led her firmly up the stairs and into our bedroom. Sarah reached under her dress and pulled down her thong. Throwing it away, she lifted her dress and put one foot on her dressing table stool. 'Eat me!' she said softly but firmly. I dutifully dropped to my knees. After her climax, we undressed and climbed into bed. I was almost hard again and her fingers and tongue quickly completed my resurrection. I waited until we were fucking before asking the question. 'Who did you blow tonight, apart from me, that is?' 'What?' 'When we kissed each other at midnight , you tasted of semen.' 'Oh.' We continued fucking for a few moments. 'Alan Johnson,' she said. 'Just for fun, really.' 'I'm sure it was..
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