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“No, and we don’t intend to allow you that chance anyway,” said Chancellor Mothruise. “Your punishment was decided while you were unconscious.”“And what will it be?”“300 years in the Kodium mines.”Oh. That doesn’t sound good. Kodium is a rare element which makes wonderful jewellery, among other things. Extremely rare and extremely expensive. It’s the sort of thing the Emperor probably makes love on a big pile of. The thing is though, it’s not rare because there’s not much of it. It’s rare because mining it is a terrible process. You see, it’s actually sentient, and it rather objects to being mined. Those who mine it are subjected to mind-bendingly horrific experiences, both physically and mentally, until they’re able to subdue it. And then do the whole thing over and over again with every bit. There’s a good reason why only criminals are sent down there.“Now now, let’s not be hasty…” I say.“Very well then, let’s not be hasty in letting you out,” says Chancellor Mothruise. “400. Earlier she had wanted to know if nudity by the colony’s women would bother me. Now she was testing the sisters to find out if my nudity would bother them; quite clever actually.I’d done my share of public speaking over the years, but it was different this time. There’s a certain something about standing naked in front of an audience which compels honesty. I decided to give a very brief and unvarnished account of my life thus far. I stood in thought with my head bowed for a minute or so.Two things worked for me during this interlude; the first was an old showman’s trick: keep the audience in suspense by never starting on time.The second was a political trick: use any extended silence to focus your mind and gather your wits. Show your audience that you’re thoughtful and caring, or as my dad used to say, “Sincerity is everything. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.” I was going to use the body language of my audience to gauge my reception while I spoke.“Hello. My name is Dennis.
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