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On the walk back to the house, I told her she should date. “Hit the bars.” I told her. I even told her that she should take advantage of the situation and go have a good time, cut loose while we were here, so far away from home and everything. “You know, ‘What happens in South Carolina stays in South Carolina’.” She giggled, “Isn’t that Vegas?” “Where ever. The point is…You should go out and do shit.” “I should do…Shit?” “Well yeah.” “And what kind of….Shit….should I do?” she asked with her eyebrows up and a smart-assed little smile on her lips. “You know what I mean Mom. You need to go out, do whatever you want; whatever makes you smile. Go buy stuff. Smoke cigars….beat up elderly J-walkers…whatever.” “Cigars?” “Cigars, a pipe, Peyote…whatever! ” I just wanted her to go do something that would take her mind of my father.I leaned in closer, shoulder to shoulder as we walked. “Ya know what you should do?” I asked in a low voice, as if someone might actually hear. “No what?” . You are completely under my control and you need to accept that. From here on out, I expect you to stop resisting, stop speaking and adopt all the mannerisms of a dog. If you don’t, I’ll be forced to discipline you." At this I held up a rolled up newspaper. "Now look at the dog you’ve become in the mirror again and make your decision." She slowly turned her head to look at herself sideways in the mirror. Her black back gently swayed as she did so and her tail wagged softly. She studied herself carefully in silence, then turned her unhappy canine face towards me and said "Arf! Arf!"."Good girl Leash !" I said, petting her on the head. I then lifted her off of the bed and proceeded to lead her down the hall towards the kitchen. She panted softly as we walked down the hall, somewhat slowly, as she adjusted to walking on all fours. As we passed the bathroom, she began to wine. "What’s the matter girl? Do you need to go to the bathroom?" At this, she barked in the affirmative. I walked.
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