Boyfriend Digging Girl In Hotel
I love her, I think. I mean, she's really hot. She's an 18-year-old online stripper you see... bit of a nightmare though, she's really c***dish.”“What do you expect from an 18-year-old?” I laughed. “How old are you?”“32. I was born on Christmas Day 1982. I am the Brown Jesus!”“I was born in July 1983 so you're six months older than me.”“Wow. You have really nice tits you know. How come they're not all saggy like my mum's tits?”“Maybe because I haven't had k**s yet?! Dickhead!”Initially he told me he was from Kabul but that turned out to be a joke. In reality he was born in Leicester making him twice as English as me.Two weeks later and he was staying at my flat, he was still with Scarlett (just about) and we hadn't fucked although we had kissed a lot. I was getting impatient. “How about I give you a back massage?” I said.“I've got some coconut oil in the kitchen, I could melt it so it's body temperature and then rub it in to your poor tired body, how about that?”“Ooh! That would be. .. That would be too much of a coincidence."Number : 5Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the time. It's too much of a distraction."Caddy: "It's not a watch - it's a compass."Number : 4Golfer: "How do you like my game?"Caddy: "It's very good - but personally, I prefer golf."Number : 3Golfer: "Do you think it's a sin to play on Sunday?Caddy: "The way you play, it's a sin on any day."Number : 2Golfer: "This is the worst course I've ever played on."Caddy: "This isn't the golf course ... We left that an hour ago."And the Number : 1 ... Best Caddy Comment:Golfer: "That can't be my ball, it's too old."Caddy: "It's been a long time since we teed off, sir."Bonus...An old favorite ... About the Golfer who has been slicing off the tee at every hole...He finally gives up and asks his long suffering caddy...Golfer: "Can you see any obvious problems... ?"Caddy: "There's a piece of shit on the end of your club."Golfer: He picks up his club up and says, "I don't see anything."Caddy: "Other.
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