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"They want me!" I told her, "They bloody want ME!" The previous day I had been to a recall for "Twelfth Night", thinking I had no chance as the confirmed cast were mostly TV stalwarts and stage legends. The play was to go on in the West End for 5 months following a 3 month tour of England, Scotland and Ireland, rehearsals starting tomorrow. It was all too much to take in - my girlfriend was working abroad on a TV job, most of my actor-friends were taking a few weeks off after graduation, and I was sitting in my bedsit, employed virtually for the whole year. Unbelievable. Rehearsals went like a dream. The cast were all lovely people, the director (Sir...) was a genius and every day was a joy. I had a 'cough and a spit role', barely noticeable but I got my own costume and shared a dressing room with two actors who'd just been filming in Canada with a big film director. The stories were great fun to listen to, and for a young green actor, life couldn't be better. On a tour, each theatre. At first he had, he'd showered her with all the love he had welling inside of him. Sometimes it had seem too much, too hot, too intense. It had scared him, how she'd become his life, his entire world. Her pain affected him more than his own, her joys had made him giddy. Her tears wept down his cheeks, her laughter bubbled from his soul until he thought he would lose himself.And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control.So he'd pulled away, shut himself up so that she couldn't tear him in two with emotions too intense for him to handle. He'd been strong, he'd been the man his father had said he never would be. He worked, pulling late shifts so that he could provide for the young bride he'd taken against her parents' wishes. He came home tired, sore and beat down from the heavy manual labor which was all he'd been able to get without a college degree.He'd taken to drinking, a beer here and there with the guys from his shift at the shop, until it became more. Then.
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