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So, dark that it’s black, I could barely tell if my eyes were truly open without reaching towards my face and feeling the flutter of my lashes against my fingertips. Where I am being unknown, just as well as why I’m here.The only thing I do know is that I’m not alone. I can feel the presence of someone else in the room or space with me. No matter how hard I strain or squint I can’t see anyone though, not even my own hand. The room appears limitless in its own existence. Could there be more than one person? Could they somehow be able to see me without me seeing them?Brushing my hands over my face, head and other portions of my body I search and try to feel if there is anything that would give me any clues to anything, or if I had anything on my body that I could find some use of ... but there is nothing. I discovered I don’t even have clothing on which is more frightening.I can feel the panic rising in my chest and my sight attempts to tear down the room for any signs of movements or. "As you guessed, that sounds better in theory than in practice. Usually every time we're in bed together, there's someone else there as well, and even if there isn't, my girls can pick up any emotional leakage I can't manage to control. Thus it's better to simply not let it out. If I were to cry on your shoulder one night, chances are each of my girls would fall apart the next day. It's a heavy load I'm carrying here, not only the emotional load on myself, but everyone else's as well."And frankly, this whole 'mission' thing is just as treacherous. Everyone wants me to tell them how to live, or provide them a moral compass, but I'm resisting that as much as possible. The problem with morality is what starts out as simple, sensible advice ends up as a means of attacking others. Jesus' simple admonition to love one another ended up as a justification to murder and enslave millions of people. Moral principles meant to provide guidance in life end up being used as a sledgehammer to.
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