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After controlling him last night, I wanted more. I wanted to make him do things that would make up for all the times guys had been assholes to not only me, but all the other girls I knew. At 9pm I heard him coming down the stairs and I sat up on the sofa and waited for him to walk in front of me. He barley made eye contact with me as he said, “Will you really let me fuck you?” I laughed and knew that I had him. He knew too, I guess this was his way of justifying to himself all the things I would make him do. “Maybe, if you are a good boy and do everything I tell you to.” He stood there, acting like he was thinking about what his answer was going to be, but we both knew he already made up his mind, and we both knew he was going to agree to what ever I said. “Ok.” “Ok, what? I want to hear you say it.” “Ok, I’ll do whatever you tell me to.” A big smile came across my face. I guess he took it as evil smile because his face got this worried look on it. I wanted to put him at ease so I. I hope you come back, theycan help."I softly told him, "I know I have a lot of support... It's just that... Ifeel like nobody understands what I'm going through... When people tellme that 'I can get through this', inside I'm like how the eff do youknow? They don't know what I'm going through... It all seems so fake tome..."He started, "Jordan... That's why the group would be good for you. Theycan understand what you're going through... Especially if you're there toexplain it to them..."I blurt out, "But they all want to be girls... Like Ella, I think hername was, they would all love for this to happen to them... How can theyunderstand..."He shook his head. "I know that Jordan...They understand the battle withtheir gender though. You don't want to be a girl... Would it matter toyou if I told you that I understood?"I looked at him quizzically and said, "Well you're supposed to sort ofunderstand right? That's what they teach you in college right?"He shook his head. "No they didn't teach.
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