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You said I had five minutes.’ ‘I lied…tough…now piss off.’ Holding her still with both his hands on her arms he looked down into her angry eyes and tried to explain. ‘When I met you I was very attracted to you…you made me feel alive…you’re sparky nature, you’re sense of fun….I was drawn in. I just didn’t realise how much until I was in Canada and it was too late.’ ‘So you fucked someone else?’ ‘Look, you have to understand, a film set is a boring place to be, lots of waiting around, I’m surrounded by sycophants, people, women. I did what I always do without thinking about it…she meant nothing…just a release from the tension and the waiting around…I shouldn’t have and I’m sorry…I just didn’t realise until that e mail how much you meant to me….it had all happened so fast…and then I was in Canada by myself and……’ ‘This explanation is supposed to make me forgive you?’ ‘No Lisa. Just understand what happened. I’m hoping you’ll forgive me because you and I are good together and that we can. My heart shatters with this thought. I saw a sea turtle on a sweatshirt of child of four yesterday, and I loved its design and how it moves on the child. I make eye contact with men wherever I go. I listened to a man talk for two hours today of his wife, who over two years has bought over 20,000 dollars worth of dresses. How does she wear the dress? Does she skim along the ocean waves, lifting the hemlines so they so lightly get wet? Do you watch her laughing as she does this, with her full abandon? I pulled out of the closet a dress I bought last year, a turquoise shift, beautiful in its simplicity. But I don’t wear to meet this man who speaks of his wife. I chose to not match my clothing. My arms are flabby. I think they are what skim the water as I submerge my self deeper into my own ocean. My face is beautiful. I received my beauty treatment on Friday. He stretched me upside down facing the world in topsy manner, filling my recesses with his total abandon. Criss-crossing.
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