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She was staring at me. Her eyes were brimming with tears again. I couldn’t fathom what had come over her. I thought we got past the awkward part. We’d just been so happy a moment before. Las Vegas? Did she think I wanted to elope?“What is it, Kitten?” I asked. I put down my pencils and caught her as she nearly collapsed with a sob. “Darling. It’s okay. What is it, sweetheart?”“I ... I ... lied to you,” she sobbed. “I’m sorry. Please don’t hate me, Tony. I’m so sorry.”“Kate! Kitten! I’m not going to hate you, no matter what. What do you mean you lied to me? Isn’t your birthday the same day as mine?”“Yes. But I didn’t tell you the whole truth and now I have to and you’ll know. Everyone will know and you won’t want me anymore.”I led Kate back to the recliner in which we’d so recently made love and settled her on my lap, petting her hair and whispering softly to her. We weren’t going to get any painting done today, but I didn’t care.“Unless you are an axe murderer or a child-rapist, I. Lots and lots of batteries. I seem to go through them very quickly. Perhaps you might have your research and development team look into a vibrator that doesn't drain the batteries quite so quickly. Or maybe make one that will plug in. It's very frustrating to have a battery die on you right before you're done with it. I've also found that people at the store don't appreciate when you bring the vibrator with you in order to get the correct size battery. I know you understand though, don't you, Santa? There is nothing worse than getting home with the wrong size battery.Speaking of being frustrated, the next gift I'm requesting is for my husband. Do you have some sort of anatomical roadmap to the G spot? I've heard so much about this spot and I'm intrigued with the possbilities. As with most men, Bob refuses to ask for directions when he's in the driver's seat and lost. I'm hoping that this will inspire him to stop the car, as it were, and explore the area instead of just endurance.
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