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He felt his capabilities as a lover were sufficient. It seemed that through callousness, thoughtlessness, immaturity and plain stupidity he had managed to destroy the only future he could imagine for himself. He asked that Rose enlighten him in the various skills necessary to win and keep his love’s heart. He knew that he was sadly lacking in the romantic graces and was utterly void of panache. After throwing away what he perceived as his only chance for happiness he had fallen in and out of one tawdry affair after another. He realized these affairs only amplified his loneliness and magnified his knowledge that without his love he would never be a complete man again. You know my Rose has a soft spot in her heart for all suffering lovers so she agreed to take this last commission. She and I had already chosen this house and she, by necessity, needed to stay in New Orleans to divest herself of her business interests inherited from Kellen Knight. She used that time to tutor this young. Itwas a strange quiet to which I had sadly grown accustomed. I missed herdesperately and had not ventured into any social life, preferring thesolace of home. For amusement, I reverted to an old habit - spendingmany hours of my solitude dressed as a woman.Yes, I had cross dressed throughout my marriage. Not often but enoughthat my wife realized I enjoyed it. There were costume parties where wewould switch genders just for fun. One year I was an airline stewardessand she a pilot. We had some dear friends, Mark and Mary, who regularlyheld Halloween parties and it had become an ongoing topic of conversationdiscussing what female disguise I would wear.Mark and Mary were quite well to do, not that you'd know it. They were awonderful, down to earth couple. Their parties were legendary. Theyalways hired a bartender and a maid so that they could enjoy theirguests, not be bothered with cleaning and serving.Now that I was on my own, I indulged in dressing frequently. I neverwent out.
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