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None of which I regret; I love my family dearly but I have often wondered how it might have been different.As I got near to being fifty that curiosity grew; the sensations created by that skinny schoolboy when I was fifteen seemed more real than perhaps they ever were at the time. I started to yearn for that touch, for the feel of another man's hand on me. I started to watch porn and wonder what it would feel like to experience some of the things I witnessed on screen.That inquisitive mindset came to a head when I had to spend three days away from home. Alone, ensconced in a strange and characterless hotel, I could not only let my imagination run free, I had the opportunity to explore my fantasies. When I searched online hoping to find a bar or club nearby I found that I was close a gay sauna/bathhouse. At the time I had only a vague notion of what that might be, but it was sufficient an idea to rush having dinner and make the thirty minute walk on a rather cold, grey and wet. I deeply wanted his cock in my mouth, to feel his body and to taste his addictive cum again. We layed there silent for a few moments and stroked each others cocks. I knew what I wanted though, and as nervous as I was to show him, my lust drove me on. In the dark, in the silence, I rolled him onto his back, never letting go of the object of my overwhelming lust, his big hard cock. Trembling, almost moving in slow motion, I leaned over. Even in the dark, I could make it his manly shape and gave into my urges. I first kissed the underside of his shaft as it layed on his belly, so warm, so smooth and thick and firm. His dick felt so good on my lips, as if I needed it, like you need water in a desert. I licked him, feeling his ridges and veins and felt his big balls with my hand. They felt incredible, so big and full. I licked them, tasting the salty flavor on my tongue as they tightened against his cock. I could not have been anymore turned on. Kissing around his cock as I stroked him.
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