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”An outburst is unusual for her, and it surprises me. I stare into her eyes trying to understand. Her facial expression doesn’t express hurt. It expresses uncertainty and concern. “Dad, I’m in my last year in college and need to move on when I graduate. I do not mean to sound disrespectful, ungrateful, or anything, but I can’t go forward if you don’t.”Her statement cuts deep and leaves me speechless for a moment. I take time to gather my thoughts and consider our entire conversation before I reply, “Sara, I am moving forward. It may be slow, but I’m making progress.”She walks around the island and has a seat. Looks at me as she taps the stool beside her and says, “Take a load off, Dad.” As I lower myself onto the stool, she says, “Dad, you need companionship.”Without thinking I reply, “No Sara, I do not. And how am I preventing you from moving forward?”“Because I worry, and I want you to be taken care of and happy.”“Honey, I'm forty-six years old. I’m more than capable of taking care. Even yesterday evening, after being back here, he hadn't come for me. Did I want him to? I frowned. At least it was a routine, some stability in my life.Smiling I raised my mug and inhaled the smell of the coffee. The nightmare seemed far away now, buried with the other disturbing memories.I would just sit here, watch the sun rise, and enjoy my coffee before taking a long hot shower. At least that was the plan. Not long after I had settled down on the sofa the front door opened. He was early again. And he carried a bag again, a bigger one this time. Expecting nothing good I got up, downed the rest of my coffee. What would it be today? Collar and shackles again? Something to go along with that?“You're up, good.” Smiling he pointed to the door. “Let's go for a walk.”“Yes, Sir.” I made a detour through the kitchen to place my empty mug in the sink before I followed him outside. He was still smiling and started to walk. The cool morning air turned my nipples hard and my skin erupted in.
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