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His eyes are adverting down, looking at my breasts. My chest heaves a little, breathing heavier. His words like toxic to me. “I do mean it,” I whisper softly. I meet his gaze, which is now transfixed on mine. We both hear the sound of a car pulling up to his drive at the same time. It’s his mother, who gives me a smile, but glares at her son. He hasn’t started his chores, and she is not happy. We don’t say anything else, just parting ways. After I bring the laundry inside, I go to my bedroom. It’s only noon, and I have a few more hours before the kids come home. I decide that I need to come. I grab one of my favorite toys, and slide it inside me. I don’t even need to work myself into a state of wetness, because I’m already there. I lie there, listening to the sound of the lawn mower outside. It’s loud, and almost the only thing I can hear. Of course, I can hear my breathing, which is slowly getting heavier. My toy is buzzing softly inside me, my fingers on my clit. I picture. I had been deeply hurt by his actions those few days ago, and physically hurt as well.His remorse at his actions towards me had left me with the feeling that he was going to leave me. He had been upset with himself at how he had 'used' me so hard and violently. I had, in my desperation, overlooked that harshness. I wanted more than anything in the world to stay with my husband.My biggest fear at that point was his anger. He had been so rough with me that he had caused me to bleed. That blood had brought to my attention, his also, that we had more deeply set issues to deal with if we were going to try to stay together. It was going to be a long, hard journey.After the great lovemaking, and reassurances of our expectations towards each other we began the first of what was to be many long heart to heart talks. They were difficult and sometimes very emotionally draining. We discussed things that most married couples should talk about. We also had conversations about things that no couple.
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