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I’ve talked to my doctor and read through the effects and side-effects. I don’t think meds are the answer. It’s the worst at night. I go to bed, feeling very peaceful, and then something happens to trigger thoughts of death in my mind and if I’m lucky, I can get rid of them. Other nights, they stay there at the front of my mind, so that no matter what I think about or if I get out of bed to do something else, they’re still there. Even trying to write doesn’t help because I’m too tired to focus. Sleeping pills don’t help, because I need at least ten hours to burn them out of my system. Even with a shit-ton of caffeine in the morning, I’m still groggy until about ten hours. Since I need that much time and I have to get up at 6:15 to be to work on time, that would mean taking them at no later than 8:15, which would seriously cut into the very, very small amount of time I get to spend with my wife. And believe me, that ain’t happening. Hopefully by getting this all out on ‘paper,’ it’ll. "You promised." I'm sorry, honey. It was only a couple of glasses." Isabel lied, remembering the upturned bottle in the ice bucket as Susi had escorted her out."Honey?" Isabel queried. "I have a favour to ask." What?" Jane replied, putting down her cup and joining her mom at the table."Well," Isabel started. "You see Kali normally has some form of entertainment at her parties. Only she's been let down and she asked, as a special favour, if you would mind dancing." Oh, mom." Jane said dejectedly. "You know I don't like to do 'party pieces'." I know, honey" Isabel said as she reached out and took hold of her daughters hand, squeezing it gently, noticing how smooth her skin was. "But this is such an important party for us, sweetheart. This one party could set us up with all the other guests for any functions they have."With a resigned smile Jane acceded with the solitary condition. "But just this once, I don't want them thinking I come as part of the catering." Deal!" Isabel glowed..
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