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Smoothing one hand down her side she imagined it was one of his. Leela fantasized her thumb was his as she flicked it over a pink nipple. But she couldn't imagine him finding her sexually appealing and dropped her hands to her sides and decided to dress for bed. ---- It was one night after classes had ended for the day that she was proven wrong unexpectedly. Damon had not modeled for her class, much to her dismay for the last two weeks. His absence bothered her. As the rest of the class packed up and left she still sat on her stool, charcoal pinched between her fingers. She didn't realize how long she had sat as she stared at a clean blank page. Leela imagined Damon stretched out lewdly on the platform - posing only for her. Her eyes closed as his image burned into the inside of her eyelids. His strong body leaning back onto his elbows. Veins webbed across his forearms and his thick thighs dangled off the edge while his cock stood up at attention - throbbing, thick, and impressively. E., a monstrously largeand harsh, indeed, titanic super-ego [and] must do what is expedient,must act against his own interest, must ruin the prospects which openout to him in the real world and must, perhaps, destroy his own realexistence" (62).In the same chapter, Noble also summarizes Theodore Reik's 1941 "studyof masochism," which attributes the masochist's pleasure in pain to amessianic complex. Basically, Noble says, Reik argues that "Reik'sChristian masochist is both the victim and the victimizer and thus seekspunishment from within. . . . There is something of the publicspectacle--indeed, one might even argue something of the exhibitionist--that is constitutive of the pleasurable punishments for Reik'smasochist" (63).Reik's masochist is identifiable, Noble says, by "four primaryfeatures": he (Reik's masochist is male) (1) "seeks out the gaze ofthose who can either reward his deeds or witness his suffering"; (2) hasa need for fantasy, especially one in which he imagines that.
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