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.I saw myself as a bride to a commanding uniformed guy and this remained my ideal for years. I was quite innocent about all this until I reached an age where I began to wonder what was happening to me. I started to read the dictionary definitions. As a result I ran away from it all. forced myself to stop dressing, tried to date girls (disaster). University...had a girlfriend. Wild about one another but never even tried to have sex. A guy seduced me, fucked me and suddenly I thought 'this is who I am!' I had an unusual interest in transvestites and transsexuals, reading every book going but I was in denial and just saw myself as a passive gay guy. I totally repressed any inclination to wear female clothing. I got into the leather scene as a gay man. But always submissive. Submission became my focus. I endured a lot of sessions I really didn't like. I was whipped and beaten and my stoicism saw me through. But I did learn to be a good sub/slave. The internet came along. I was in on it. What do you think?‘Well, I do agree with you, but I still think it will be kind of weird.’ Replied Lorna.‘Weird, have you heard what has been going on at those parties being held in the other dorm across the square? It’s like some kind of roman orgy half of the time. Besides, your supposed to experiment with your sexuality these days, aren’t you?’ Laughed Sandy.‘Anyway, look I’m going to get on with this work now because I need to and it’s quieter in here than anywhere else, you can do what you like – I really don’t mind honest I don’t. Next time we can figure out a rota, or book the room, or maybe do it like this if push comes to shove, you know, whatever.’With that Sandy turned her chair around and began to take books out from her bag and down from the crowded shelf and spread them out on the desk in front of her. She switched on her portable CD player and played music at a low volume. Lorna sat on the bed, her mind turning things over. She watched Sandy getting down to her work.
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