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I didn't need to be so close so I didn't push the matter much. Some children were here because of beatings given them by parents or family members and it was difficult to leave this. A parent had a right to discipline a child but that had to be within reason. Some children here had broken bones from 'falls' or 'being clumsy'. The best I could do was put my suppositions on the report and hope for the best. There was no way I could police the entire world, as my father had reminded me many times.The older girls were the same way but didn't mind me coming around. Some thought it quite wicked to let me use the stethoscope on their chest or back. Most had chests like the boys but tried to use what they could to get me to notice.When I left the hospital that day I was thanked by the administrator and some of the doctors present. I was welcomed to come back next time I found myself in the capital with the opportunity to help. As I left the grounds and headed to the theatre I saw many. I moisturised myself and put the bra and panties on and then the black flat shoes. It was not a sexy look but that of a normal girl this calmed me down for 15 Mins then the shaking started again but worse than before. I brought my knees up to my chest and in this foetal position lay on the bed. It all suddenly hit me like a dam breaking; clearly you cannot experience such a turnaround in outlook and thinking without some time to process it. Then I started to sob and cry and cry and cry. I eve twice hit myself in the testicles and penis, I hated them but the pain stopped me doing more. My eyes and nose hurt with it all. I made it to the sink and vomited the breakfast up. It was just mid-morning, I was pinned to the bed under the duvet, it all felt so hopeless. By lunch time I stopped crying and started at the wall with an ache in my stomach. By mid-afternoon there had been no change and eventually exhausted I fell asleep, having dreams which scared me but could not quite remember. At.
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