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” He shrugged, his heart rapidly slowing as he discovered it wasn’t his father after all. “Not used it in ages.”Robbie nodded. “Can I borrow it please?”“Er. Yeah. Sure. Have to wait until Dad gets home. “He knows where it is. He put it up there.”Robbie was disappointed. He didn’t particularly like his son-in-law, and the feeling was mutual. He also wasn’t sure he trusted the man. Not for certain. “Don’t worry about it then. It’s not important enough to bother your father.”“Okaaay,” Peter looked at his grandfather curiously. “Why did you want it? I’ve got some pellets somewhere round here I think.”“Get them put up in the loft with the pistol then. In fact, it might be a good idea to get the whole lot out of the house sooner rather than later.”“Why? It’s not illegal is it?”“Technically no. At least I think not. But there was a Political Officer in town this morning harping on about recidivism, anti-revolutionaries, and other such cobblers. You know how much trouble there’s been ever. Hopefully someday they will make a vibrator that can outlast my sexual needs. I need to find a man soon though before I lose my mind with this constant sexual desire I have 24/7. It’s getting to the point where I can’t even function at work and now even the geeks and nerds are turning me on. They should pass a law that it’s mandatory everyone gets laid at least once a day.I decided I would spend my Saturday doing laundry, so I gathered my clothes and headed down stairs to the laundry room. When I walked in I saw my neighbor down the hall. We spoke in passing once and he introduced himself as Kamal. He seemed like a nice guy just not very interested in me, so I thought. Kamal was a big guy and maybe he was just shy or something. I said, “good morning” and proceeded to separate my clothes. As I finished loading the last load into the washer, Kamal tapped me on the shoulder. When I turned around Kamal was standing there holding a pair of my black lace panties to his face. I looked down.
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