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I was also feeling scared and guilty. If I went through with this, if I let Michael enter my womanhood, we would move past the petting and exploration that we enjoyed to becoming ‘lovers’ in every sense of the word. Would we live to regret this? Was society correct? Would this forever scar each of us emotionally? On an objective and intellectual level, I knew that someday we would have to move on. Michael and I could not be a couple. Society would not permit it. We would always be forced to keep our relationship and our intimacies secret. We could not live as man and wife, we could not hold hands walking down the street, or contemplate having children. These were activities we would have to reserve for other people, not each other. As the plane hummed along at 40,000 feet, I knew that allowing Michael and my relationship to progress to the point that we were having actual intercourse would make the eventual cessation of our intimacies even more painful and difficult. Nonetheless, I. Evry night i would wait for my bus and make a 50 min ride before getting home, then every morning mom would drop me back or sometime id take the bus againhis name was Josephhe had a nephew of 13 he drop and pick up evrydayafter someweek of the camp start he saw me at the bus stop one morning and thats how i endup getting lift by himhe was a cool black dad working up north and giving lift to his nephew, so he didnt mind driving me toothe young boy was cool and had many friends at the campbut one day hegot into a dispute , i help himout of the fight with 2 other boyi endup taking care of him like that a couple of timeshis uncle always thanking me on the way home as the story of what happens unfoldhis nephew was only there for a month and the first day he wasnt i was surprised to see Joseph still driving by the bus stop to pick me up''hey boy ready to go''''yeah sure, but hes done coming to the camp , you still gonna give me liftts? ''''of course boy , lets go''droping me off to my job.
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