Ascending them one step at a time, I got to the second floor and went to my bedroom. And with a kind of quiet detachment, I went to the framed photo of Dawn on my desk and gently folded it face-down.Adrienne was in the bedroom with me again. How long she'd been there, I didn't know. But she clearly could read my face and the shock written there. "Ben? What happened?" she asked in a concerned voice.I just sat on my bed, staring off at nothingness. The world around me had ceased to exist, as if somewhat had stolen it out from beneath my feet. And in a shocked monotone, I replied, "Dawn said she's going to stay with Ryan. He worked really hard this year and he was accepted as a transfer student to Berkeley. She said that as much as she adores me and values our lifelong friendship, she doesn't want to walk away from what she and he have built together."I went silent and just kept staring at the wall, feeling numb. I didn't know WHAT to think, how to feel, whether to be angry or sad.. The thing that is special about secrets is that some are so delightful or forbidden that they just seem to come out and be told to others. I told my girlfriend at school about Grandpa and she was thrilled to hear…the more I told the more intent was her interest and then I told others of my school friends and had fun with them.But how would I tell James as we began dating and loving and feeling, if I ever did? It wasn’t my fault at all but one night we were kissing and feeling and his penis was out of his pants for a nice kissing and sucking. He said: “Gosh, Phyllis! Where did you learn to do that?” So I told him…he asked, I told, and he got really hot with my words and it didn’t take him long to cum in m mouth. I licked every drop and kissed him and tongued him so he could taste himself…just like I had done to Grandpa. James and I had all kinds of sexual fun and one day he showed me one of his secrets: a porn video. Well, I loved it; loved watching others fuck and feel.
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