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A couple purchased a talking parrot on their honeymoon--much to the groom's annoyance, since the bird kept a running commentary on their lovemaking.The groom finally threw a towel over the cage and threatened to give the parrot to the zoo if it didn't shut up.The next morning, packing to return home, the newlyweds couldn't close the large suitcase."Honey," the groom said, "you get on top and I'll try." That didn't work.Figuring they needed more weight on the lid, the bride said, "Sweetheart, you get on top and I'll try." Still no success.Then the man said, "Let's both get on top and try."At that point the parrot yanked away the towel and said, "Zoo or no zoo, this I gotta see!"The following group are compliments of bobA lawyer who got on an airplane and found himself, to his delight, seated next to an incredibly beautiful blonde who was turning away to go to sleep.He didn't want her to do that, so he said, "Let's play a game. I'll ask you a question, and if you can answer it, I'll pay. I never said anything to Cal about it.” Maria asked, “What has Cal told you?” Shay replied, “Not much just that you and your girlfriends are very close and you all like to play together. I know that you have included him in your playing but mostly he just watches.” “That is true. The girls like him because he treats us all like ladies and we like that. We also like what he does to us when he treats us like ladies.” Shay now curious asked, “Do you mean the sexual favors he bestows on a woman?” “Yes I do. He is such an expert at that and we all love it. Has he been intimate with you too?” Shay blushed and said, “He sure has. He has taken me to new sexual heights that my husband Mr. Limp Dick can’t. I get so horny between his visits. I am sorry for the display I put on.” “Don’t be sorry, we all feel that way about him. He makes us all feel important and loved as if we were the only woman that mattered.” I was sitting there and listening to these women talking about me as if I were a toy.
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