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I knew she would be out for a while, and headed out the door to the farm, alone.When I got to the farm, I saw a strange car parked by the shed. I pulled up alongside it, and cautiously walked through the doorway into the building.In one of the bays where the tractor was normally parked, space had been cleared. There was a hospital bed in the middle, with floodlights setup around it in a circle. There were sheets of plastic outside that, and it was made to look like an operating theatre. It looked like a scene out of some kind of horror movie or thriller, where the psycho murderer had their victim, helpless and unable to fight whatever sick and twisted torture they might devise. I felt sick to my stomach - this wasn’t a movie, this was my life! It was really happening, and now I was in the middle of it.Anita was laying on the bed, naked. There were leather straps around her ankles, arms and waist. Her head was shaved, and electrodes were placed all around, a harness of wires leading. Hell, I've been waiting this long,what's a few extra months, right? On the other hand, I am at a point inmy life that, when I make a decision, it stays made, and dammit, I amready to move on it. No hesitation. So, faced with the both need forpatience and the desire for instant gratification... well, it was a rathertricky balancing act.But, in retrospect, the months did go by, and I didn't die or go mad,which is nice to know. And at last I had my initial assessmentappointments, which required the opinions of two independent evaluators.Since I had to drive about sixty miles in to Toronto, they were goodenough to give me two back-to-back appointments, with about 15 minutes inbetween to grab a coffee and chill out.Both appointments went well. I've since talked to some trans peoplewho've had pretty nasty experiences with the AGIC, but that was not mine.Perhaps they took my maturity into consideration, and made the up-frontassumption that if I made the decision at this stage of my life, I.
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