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I really searched through the laptops they had, and finally decided on one that made me feel like it might last a while. They had a deal on the laptop, an inkjet printer with a scanner/copier/fax, and Microsoft Home and Student Office, for just under a thousand dollars. This thing will hopefully last more than a year. I bought two PCMCIA memory cards to go with it so that I could back up what was on the hard drive. They had another type of memory they called a ‘memory stick’ but they didn’t have any of them. I bought a small pack of CDs that you could only write on once. There was a new style coming that you could rewrite on the CD, but the CD inventory hadn’t caught up with the equipment.There were too many temptations in that department, so I pushed my cart to the front to pay and go back to the dorm with my purchases. I mentally calculated that I was now down to a little over twenty-five hundred of the thirty-eight hundred dollars that I had been given by Scott McKendry Sr.I didn’t. Day after day, I find myself in this park, as if it somehow holds the answers. Sometimes I walk, all afternoon and into the evening, but I always end up back here. I guess I believe the answers are here, but I still haven't decided what the questions are. I need a jolt, something to set my life on a new path, hopefully a new rut where the walls are not as high, and changes are easily within my grasp. What's wrong with me, why do my choices turn out this way? I am not a bad looking woman, some used to say I was really pretty. I appreciate my kids, but I am so tired of being so needed. I don't think needed is the right word, they could do for themselves occasionally. I wish I had someone to do for me. That brings me to Rick, I love him, I really do, I know I do, it's just... well, that's the real problem, I don't know what it's just I only know it's not right. The more we try to talk, the more we seem to fight. I am almost ready to give up. Then one day I saw Him in the park, sitting.
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