I mean, don't you have to at least receive two or more strokes into yourself to call it making love? (Or even fucking?)I will have to admit that I was disappointed (to say the least). I now know that it was because of my/our lack of sexual experience and of course my desires at this point in my life.To be honest with you, I did crave my climaxes, but the only way I was able to get them was to masturbate, even though Peter would get on me every night and get his rocks off. We have different sleep cycles, and by that I mean I go to bed early 9:30-10 p.m., while he would get up and go play his games on the computer. I would wait for him to leave the bedroom and then I would always masturbate under the sheets, holding my moans down so he would not know he left me hanging.Now I did not have a job those first 11 months so I was always at home. I always waited until around noon and, after my lunch, I would lie on our bed and make wanton love to myself.Look, I do not want to come across as. But Bruce was of the past. She'd left him back in the Oklahoma-Is-OKstate of her existence, and she'd moved on. To better things, shehoped.She smelled the perfume of the flowers and smiled at their gloriousbeauty. She watched a butterfly flit among the blossoms, and shethought, like it, she, too, had found true beauty, both in the desertwildflowers and within her own soul. Kevin's smiling face--thesparkling blue eyes gone crescent, the smile an upside-down bow, thedimples deep in his cheeks, a day's dandelion fuzz on his cheeks andchin--appeared to her, out of the desert landscape, as if it were aflower itself, tossing in the breeze. He, too, might be a beautifulblossom to be planted in the garden of her life, she thought.She spent the rest of the afternoon frolicking in the canyon, among theflowers, pausing, occasionally, to dance and prance, her breastsbouncing and her buttocks flexing, as a lightness of being filled herheart and mind as if it were helium; sometimes, she.
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