I forget about the abuse my body has suffered due to that life. The injuries suffered in sports, the wilderness. The wounds from the military, the Alien monster, the time with the Predators, and from encounters here. I forget until I am quiet with b**st and in tracing my hands on his massive, powerful body I rediscover his scarring. Then a glance at my own body, normally naked anyway, and the scars of my life again become visible and blatantly apparent. But the ones I can see on the front aren’t even the worst ones. My back is evidence of even more brutality. Is that why I have let my hair grown so long, some hidden sense of embarrassment that my extremely healthy, trim, and powerful body is so marred by the life I have chosen to follow? Who knows, I have learned to accept what is and move on. Take the best of today while working to improve the tomorrow. It has been a good model for existence here. My acceptance of friends, my acceptance of a partner. I have long since left behind. I clung desperately to one tiny, tenuous ray of hope, a single fact. Violet hadn’t yet visited her Vancouver apartment, not even to clear her mail. She had remained with me. I’d hoped that it might be some kind of sign, but I was equally certain I was just fooling myself.Every small movement had consequence now. I was achingly aware of every passing second. Violet took her house keys out of the pocket of her shorts and placed them on the kitchen counter. For some reason their metallic clatter became my signal. I couldn’t wait another moment.“Vi.”“Hmm?” She turned to me, her oval eyes widening slightly.“Come with me.”“Okay...”Vi followed me obediently back into the lounge and sat on the leather couch, the only piece of furniture left in the room. I took my place beside her, holding her hands in mine.“We have to talk.”Vi took a breath as if she was about to go underwater. “Okay.”“I know I’ve left it to the very last moment, and I’m sorry for that. But I have to know, for my own.
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