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John refused it. “No, you keep that one for your scrapbook. I have one all for my own.”“You have a scrapbook?”“Sure, I put in it all the news pieces about my clients who’ve been in bar fights and gone to jail.”“Maybe you need to start one about lawyers who do stand-up comedy,” I replied.John snorted at that. “Do you have life insurance? Should I be finding you a broker?”I laughed. “Wow! Your wife feeding you Wheaties these days? You’re sure full of piss and vinegar for an old fart!”“I just don’t want my billable hours being cut when you end up in the morgue!” We both laughed at that, then he asked, “So, tell me the truth, what really happened.”I shrugged. “It wasn’t all that heroic. Marilyn and I were out barhopping on Saturday night - I mean, we were on vacation, right? - and we were in this one place, late. Nice joint, a little crazy, but not in a bad way. When I got up to go to the bathroom, there was this chick laying on the bar, with her boyfriend doing body shots out of her. Diana was ashamed of Francine at certain times - like now, for instance!Meanwhile the slaver ship had landed and a party been despatched to pick up the latest batch of carefully selected female slaves. An hour later, as the Coven marched out into the dark Old Wood, shivering more from excitement than cold, the batch (five of them, including Francine) were being stowed away in the hold, unconscious and blissfully unaware of the horrible fate that awaited them in the furthest reaches of Outer Space.It was at this point, as Diana was chanting the Latin invocation to raise the centuries dormant Spirit of the Old Wood, that the careless and incompetent Captain fell clumsily against the Control Panel, switching off the cloaking device and bathing the Old Wood in a light as bright as a Midsummer day. Thirteen terrified young ladies emerged from the wood manifestly seized by pure terror and made for the shelter of Diana's cottage. Six cats could also be seen making for safety, well ahead of.
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