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“You’re fucking impossible,” he said.She laughed. It wasn’t her real laugh. But she did look at him then, so hard that he couldn’t even think of looking away.“I’m impossible? Don’t even, Tyler.”“Don’t even?” he stalled. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”She looked away again. He wondered how she could do it so easily and felt more destructive than ever. He found himself thinking about the cigarettes in the glove box. The snow was coming down faster now but it didn’t settle on the car though the street was dusted white like a cake.“Look, it’s just crazy,” she said unexpectedly. “I don’t understand you. You give me like one word to make me think you care and then you just blank me so hard it hurts. You know, it really makes me feel crap. Nobody else makes me feel like this. It’s just you. It’s like you lead me on and I don’t even know why.”Tyler didn’t move. He waited until he was sure she’d stopped talking and then said, “I’m sorry,” only because it seemed like the given thing. ”This answer was not what Fred had been expecting, but he recognized the truth that some things couldn’t be explained to others. He asked, “So what are you trying to say to me?”“I’m saying that the men that you may have killed are not in pain any more. They are in a different place now; a place that has no room for pain. You don’t have to accept that on faith, but as fact.”“I can understand that. They are in heaven now,” commented Fred. Religion had become increasingly more important to him. In part, he had wanted to find solace in it from past. In part, he had reached the age where death had become more of a reality and it was through religion that he was attempting to come to grips with his mortality.“I think if you talk to the people here, you’ll find the rest of the answers that you are looking for. You will find out what it’s like to survive the burn and that, perhaps, will allow you to come to better grips with what you’ve done.”“I feel like I need more than just answers.”John.
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