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My heart was thudding in my chest as I clutched it firmly in my right hand and slowly brought it to my lips; I tasted the tip with my tongue and let my mind drift. My eyes closed. Then I opened my mouth and pushed the head inside, my lips and tongue caressed it, licking and sucking. I had been fantasizing for months before building up the courage to actually go on-line to a sex store and ordering it, worrying about the size, the color the shape, filled with dread of being exposed, trembling in terror and sexual excitement at the thought of sucking it and most of all my most secret inner hunger to force it down my throat, pretending it was a man forcing me. Now I had it, now I was sucking it, oh damm it, not here, not in the kitchen, where? Yes of course in the bedroom and naked. I pulled it out of my mouth and then walked quickly to the bedroom, to my secret drawer to my little pleasure toy, the vibrator. I slid out of my blouse and skirt,. " So I was to be your birthday treat," I shouted angrily."Yes I'm so sorry and ashamed for allowing this to happen," he answered collapsing in tears onto the sofa.My affection for Jonathon overcame my annoyance and I sat down beside him and said gently, "It was Simon's idea then but you went along with it because you were attracted to me? Its quite flattering really but I'm afraid that like this, whilst I do seem to fancy men, I want to be attractive because I am seen as a woman not a guy in drag, which given that you are gay is presumably what attracted you to me." No, no you don't understand," Jonathon implored hotly, "I'm more bi than gay, and I can assure you that it is your femininity that I am attracted to. It's just that I find that combination of feminine behaviour and appearance in a natural born male irresistible. But basically I'm attracted to you because you are you, a very beautiful person who is at last expressing their true self."Now I began to cry. "Oh I'm sorry.
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