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If it takes him five minutes per question I will blow him off and block him. Not only am I fussy who I fuck, I like a guy to possess enough intelligence to answer me right away, if they’re witty to boot that’s a huge tick against their name. I nibble on a cracker and pour another glass of wine as I wait for him to reply. “I have Skype. What’s your addy? A x” I give it to him. Two hours later, I’m still chatting to Ali and surprisingly for me and my past track record, he seems to possess a higher level of intelligence than most guys who I have picked up online. Some people have a gaydar or a fuckdar, I usually possess a fuckwitdar but tonight it seems to have gone into retirement. So anyway, he is witty and funny and has a nice air about him. He doesn’t engage me in perverted chat in the first ten minutes and I relax to his theme which consists of more flattery. The only thing I am worried about is this: if he is nice as he comes across, he might want more than no-strings-attached. “You’ve been watching too much pornography, Eloise.”“Would you just be like everyone else and call me Elle. It’s French for ‘she.’”“I like ‘Eloise.’ It’s something you’d hear in a nursing home.”“You fucking asshole. Enough champagne for you. Maybe enough cooch too.”“I’m not done with you, Elle,” he said. He was softly massaging her sex. “And you’re not done with me.” He kissed up and down the curve of her neck, the unblemished skin, tight and smooth was it would ever claim to be. Salty and sweet.She guzzled from the bottle. “Never liked porn actually. The acting is abysmal.”“People aren’t watching for the acting.”“Neither am I, but what’s the appeal of two people fucking if you don’t know who they are? What they want. Like take a Dickens book. Take Great Expectations.”“I’ve heard of that one.”“Cut out every part of it that deals with motivation. You’d have twenty pages. Twenty shitty pages. That’s what porn is.”“That’s the thing with men. They only need those twenty pages. They read.
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